Love Part 2: Friendships

February 11, 2018

Love Part Two: Friendships

“Walk with the wise and become wise, for a companion of fools suffers harm.” Proverbs 13:20

Welcome back!  As you probably already know, today I’ll be continuing my series on love with part two.  If you missed last week’s post, check it out here.

Last week I went over some things about what this series is, defined love as put in the dictionary, and talked about loving family.  Today we’re going to continue along those same lines, but today we’re going to talk about your friendships.

In case you forgot, I’ll go ahead and insert the dictionary definition of love again.

Love- an intense feeling of deep affection

Of course one of the things we’ll be doing throughout all of these posts is to not only look at what the dictionary and society say about love, but see what God’s Word says.  And maybe by the end you’ll even have your own definition of love.

Mark 12:31 says “love your neighbor as yourself”.  Neighbor means your peers, the people around you.  When we love other Christians around us, that means we are loving our brothers and sisters in Christ, which pleases God.  It’s important to build friendships with good people.  If we surround ourselves with good company, that will make a more positive impact on your life and you’ll be much happier. 

Some people make friends easier than others.  For me, making friends has never been easy.  I’m a very shy and reserved person, not outgoing like others.  But one thing I’ve learned is that it doesn’t take a lot to make a friend.  Sure, it does involve stepping out of your comfort zone a little, but let me tell you a little story.  So about a year ago, I was at youth group and we divided up into small groups of about five or six people.  In my group one night we were going around and introducing ourselves and after I introduced myself this girl looked at me and said “you’re really really pretty”.  Ever since that compliment, we’ve been friends.

You don’t have to think of a super impressive thing to say to someone.  It can just be something simple like “hi, I love your hair”.  I think sometimes we overthink and it prevents us from talking to people because we can’t think of something really good to say.  Another thing I’ve learned when trying to make friends is to make yourself approachable.  When you surround yourself with people you already know, there’s a less likely chance that someone new is going to talk to you because they assume you already have your group of friends.

I like going places by myself.  I’ve found that by going alone, it reduces the stress of having to “impress” your friend or whoever you’re usually with, and it makes you more open to other people around you.  It takes some getting used to, but you’d be surprised what all you miss when you’re busy with other people.

So enough about making friends, let’s talk about keeping them.  This is the real key to having good friends, because you want friendships that will last, right?  As I said before, positive things come from being around positive and uplifting people.  Believe it or not, friendships can be just as toxic as some relationships if you “hang out with the wrong crowd”.  But if you have good, positive people as friends then this part should be a breeze.

The most important part of a friendship is to talk.  All the time.  About everything.  Okay maybe not everything, but keeping secrets that you’ve told someone else from your friends is what leads to those dreaded fights.  I think communication is the most important thing when it comes to friendships.  If you don’t communicate properly with your friends, you’ll eventually lose connection with them and they’ll drift away which is pretty sad.

The last thing is to tell them how much you appreciate them.  By letting them know how much you appreciate them being in your life, it shows them that you still care and are making an effort to keep the friendship lasting and going strong.  I’m really bad at this sometimes because I tend to get upset whenever someone isn’t talking to me as much and I wonder why but then I remember that to keep any friendship strong, you have to let the person know that you still value the friendship.  Even if that means texting them first (which is something I literally hate doing), or getting over your pride and being the one to step up and say “hey I just wanted to let you know how much I value you as a friend”.

God told us to love others as He loved us (John 15:12).  He told us to walk with the wise, and forgive others if you have grievances against them.  Obviously it’s hard to top God’s love for us, but if we clothe ourselves in compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience (Colossians 3:12-14), we attract people of the same character.  That’s the real truth to making and keeping friends.

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