March 09, 2018


To me, an age does not define a year in my life.  Just like numbers do not define success.  We all grow and develop at different ages, so it wouldn’t be fair to say that we all go through certain things at one age.  How old were you when you first learned to walk?  I’m sure your answer would be different than mine, because we grow at different times in our life.  Just like it isn’t fair to say every baby starts to talk in the same month.

I believe as humans, we are constantly developing, learning new things, and growing, no matter how old we are.  If you thought you were done changing after puberty, you were wrong.  Our bodies and minds never stop changing.  I think this is one of the most beautiful things about life because I always hear about how it’s impossible for someone to change their ways.  It is true that some parts of you will always remain the same, but I believe it is always possible for someone to better themselves with a lot of work.

So it was my sixteenth year of life.  I sat down here to write this with no plan in mind for this and no idea of what I wanted to talk about.  Then I remembered something I read on someone else’s blog about how for every year older they get, they choose a word that defined that past year.  I’m going to did something similar to that, but I had more than just one word that came to mind when I thought about this last year: change, lessons, and growth.

A year of change.
This was when I really began to feel like an adult.  I got a job, I lost jobs, I learned how to operate a vehicle, I went to prom, I began to think seriously about my future.  All of those things were things that a few years ago seemed very far away, but now they feel so very close and are approaching so quickly.

I’ve talked about my job before, but for those reading this that don’t know me, I work at a local coffee shop and I’m not biased or anything but I think it’s the best job in the world.  When I was younger I always dreaded the day when I would have to step behind the counter at McDonalds and serve a half-cooked hamburger to some strange looking person.  But I was blessed enough to receive this opportunity almost a year ago for a place I never thought I would be able to work at.  I never thought I would “enjoy” going to work, but here I am counting down the days until my next shift.

            In two weeks I’ll get to go to prom for the second time.  Last year it was so amazing and I’m more than thrilled to be attending again this year.  I really want to a more “in depth” prom post than last year so let me know if that’s something you would want to see.  I’m also considering doing a “vlog” (video blog) of the day so maybe I can get that out there for you guys too.  Besides all that, the excitement this year is almost double the excitement of last year and I can’t wait to have this wonderful experience again.

But all of these things are signs that yes, my childhood is ending and it’s almost time to be an….an….adult.  I thought it got bad when I couldn’t eat off the kids menu anymore but now I know there are bigger changes I must face.  In all seriousness, however, it has been a bittersweet thing for me.  Even though the thought of being on my own in the future is extremely terrifying sometimes, I’m ready for it.    
Lessons to Learn.
            It’s in my nature to do things the hard way.  Not that I choose to though, it was just an unfortunate characteristic I was born with and never got rid of.  Despite the unfortunateness, it has helped me tremendously in some cases over the past year.  The other day I happened to be reading a book and one chapter was about suffering and why suffering exists.  This was something that caught my attention because it’s something I myself have spent years wondering about.  If we are in the presence of an all-powerful God who is capable of performing miracles, why must we suffer?

            The answer is quite simple if we think about it.  If there was no suffering and life went smoothly, there would be no opportunities to show strength, bravery, and courage in times of trial.  It’s like how if there were no rainy days, the plants and flowers would all die because they need the rain and darkness to make them stronger and beautiful during the sunny days.  That’s why suffering exists in our lives.  This is just yet another reason to prove that God really is in control of our lives and knows what He’s doing when He allows us to suffer.

            That’s one of the many hard lessons I learned while I was sixteen.  Through times of trial, we gain wisdom and strength we didn’t have before.  That’s what happened to me at least.  I would not be the person I am today if I hadn’t gone through the things I did.  Now looking back on those experiences, I’m thankful for the knowledge I was able to gain from them.

A Year of Growth.
When I say growth I don’t mean physically. As much as I wish that happened, I’m still probably the same height I was last year and probably even the year before.  No, the kind of growing that occurred this year was a growth spurt that took place on the inside.  I’m going to try to wrap this up without being too cheesy, but let me just explain.

            When I look back at myself from this time last year, I see someone who was in the wrong place.  Now please understand it could have been a lot worse, but to me it was far from where I wanted to be.  I was immature, caught up and feelings, and made poor choices.  Again like I said it could have been a lot worse, but I was still veering off the path.  Some of those things are things that come naturally with this age I guess, but I wasn’t proud.

            The thing that changed all that was developing a closer relationship with God.  One thing I was doing back then was I kept trying to fill in this empty space in my heart with people, searching for something that I was unable to find.  Over the summer was when I really got connected with God again.  I started praying and reading my Bible regularly, going to church whenever I could.  Ever since then I’ve felt like a completely different person.

            I was also bitter for a long time.  It seemed like the suffering never ended, and I didn’t understand why things happened to me.  I still don’t completely understand, but my mindset has changed.  Instead of being angry and bitter towards the world, I opened my mind to choosing to forgive and love, despite the things I had been through.  Loving people who have done you wrong isn’t easy, and I’m still learning.  There’s this quote that says “building a new relationship is good.  But restoring a broken one is better”.  That’s something I’ve been trying to work on, and just trying to keep my relationships strong and healthy.

What’s Ahead.
Every day is new and exciting.  It’s always changing along with us ourselves.  Being sixteen was fun, but I’m ready to see what kinds of things this new year and new age have in store.  So with that being said, I’m going to go prepare for the big day tomorrow.  I’ll see you in my next post!

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